Since: Saturday, January 30, 2010

Email Address: tony_adams09hotmail.com

Post Title: Personal Assistant

Location: oregon coast

States affected: OR - oregon    

Notes:
BE SUPER AWARE of tony_adams09@hotmail, a CraigsList jobs super SCAMMER, super SPAMMER!

He wants a Personal Assistant, sometimes a Virtual Assistant, for his busy Property Company - or whatever fill-in-the-blank company suits his posting fancy today.

Wants you to be able to work very well with little to no supervision, and then hits you with this lofty, ambitious, must-have, qualification: You must be "a good and understanding person." -Please also have breathing in & out as your #1 career goal and you've got yourself a job.

Important Note: The satire is only to help kick myself through the blindingly brainless experience of falling for this ad for about five minutes. I parody only myself. Everything I post about this jerk is for real.

You must be able to operate a "fax, copier, scanner, and printer." (Gee, do I have to know how to hold a pencil too? Dang, I dunno...)

Hours and pay are posted as part-time and $300 a week.

His ads are for a busy company, but do not include a website for that company.
-Well, no worries. I’ll set him up with a website. In fact, I’ll make him a star at his new website! SEE: flakelist.org.

The following is from his reply marked urgent. The first thing you notice is that:

(1) His spelling is an afterthought and English is not his first language.
-It's not even his third.

(2) He promises to be a good boss.
-You haven't even asked for a job, the only thing he knows about you is your name, yet you're hired? Hot-d*mn! No follow up emails, no phone interview, no chat, didn’t even have to get out of my pajamas and I’ve got myself a job. What a deal.

(3) He admits to being overseas, but fails to say what country.
-Or even what planet. Uranus maybe?

(4) He asks for your age.
-Red flag * Red flag * Red flag.

(5) Providing you send back all your contact information, the first thing he's going to do is send you money orders and cashier's checks. But don’t get too excited, they’re not for you. YET. For now, the new boss says you are to take these funds and go buy some stuff for the kids at the orphanages. Then you ship some of it away to other orphanages. What’s more, he buys things for the orphan kids every single month!
-Well, color me sold. Anybody who sends money half way around the world to a complete stranger to go shop for the orphans is a saint in my book. This guy’s a real hero. Sign me right up.

(6) He has a tight schedule, frequent travel, busy meetings, but wants to get a head start “right away” and ‘meet up’ in Yahoo chat to test your efficiency and diligence toward all this. “Right away”. You are urged to respond “right away as soon as possible” to discuss this extensively. He then asks you to “do try to keep a date.” He has a task for you this weekend. Right away.
-Well certainly. Wonder how soon can I go shopping for the orphans?

---The urgency of this jerk is almost frightening. If anyone learns what he does next on that “right away” chat he wants to have, please post & let us know.

THANK YOU, flakemistress, for this most useful and awesome site. The only thing it needs is a whole bunch of zeros behind those guests and members online numbers. Let’s hear it for some national exposure for flakelist!

Report to the FTC at https://www.ftccomplaintassistant.gov/